What We Read in April

After some lackluster months of reading, April was really great! Finally! I read 10 books but 2 were chapter books I read with Paul and 1 was a middle grade novel I read to see if it would be appropriate for Paul. I am still counting them because the read-alouds took a good number of nights to get through - probably 1 week each as we read about 1 chapter each night since the chapters were long - and the other middle grade was 300 pages or something like that, although I read it in probably 3 hours. More about those childrens'/middle grade books below, though! 

Best books:

I had far more hits than misses this month. Berry Pickers is a debut novel I learned about from Sarah’s Bookshelves Live. It’s about a Canadian Native American family that travels down to Maine each summer for berry picking season. Their daughter goes missing and the story is told in a dual narrative format. It was an excellent 5-star read. Come and Get It has very mixed reviews but it ultimately worked for me. It’s set on a college campus and it about relationships between students and teachers, power dynamics, and so much more. While You Were Out is a very sad memoir about a family’s history of mental illness. Research triggers on this if you are a sensitive reader. The River We Remember is a literary mystery about a deeply disliked man that is found dead. It manages to pull together a lot of themes like the impact of war and the poor treatment of Native Americans - but it pulls it off and the writing is beautiful. Amazing Grace Adams takes place in one day and features a post-menopausal woman at her wit’s end who is trying to get to her teen daughter with whom she has a strained relationship (for reasons that are revealed through the novel) so she can deliver a birthday cake. It sounds like an odd premise but it somehow works.

Less successful:

There were some misses. Day by Michael Cunningham is a novel that looks at a family on a single day in April in 2019, 2020, and 2021 so it’s obviously a pandemic novel. It’s another marriage in crisis type of novel and while the prose was beautiful at times, it didn't completely work for me. I felt like I was held at arm's length and didn't "feel" the pain expressed in the pages if that makes sense. Frozen River is the latest historical fiction novel about a female heroine by Ariel Lawhon. I liked it but I didn’t love it and felt like it dragged a bit. It’s about a female midwife in the 1780s. It’s Goodreads average rating is around 4.5 so I am the outlier in not loving this book (I gave it 3 stars) - but historical fiction is not my jam these days.

Exploratory reads:

Lastly, I read a middle grade novel called A Rover's Story to see if it would be something I could read to Paul. He is very into space and this novel is told from the point of a view of a Rover that goes on a mission to Mars. Ultimately I've decided to hold off on reading this as it has a heavier storyline for one of the scientists that works in rover NASA lab. It is totally appropriate for middle grade but I think 6 is too young and it might cause some stress/worry. In a couple of years when he is actually in middle grade I would totally read this with him or have him read it on his own. I can't say what it was that gave me pause because it would be a spoiler but message me if you want to know if you are considering this for your child. It is an excellent book, though! 

The boys’ books:

Paul had gotten REALLY into chapter books lately. In April we read 2 Paddington books that are part of a boxed set I received for my baby shower! He found Paddington’s antics very entertaining and he got to watch the first Paddington movie the weekend I was in ND for the funeral - it sounded like he liked it but not as much as the book (yessssss! Books for the win!!). Next he has decided he wants to try the Harry Potter books so we started the first book at the end of April. I imagine it will take us a month+ to read it. I love picture books but I really love snuggling up and digging into a chapter book! Paul can be a sensitive reader so we will see if he’s ready for the plot line of the HP books which can be intense. I haven’t read HP since my first reading of the series which I started in 2004 so it’s like I’m reading it for the first time! I have never watched the movies but maybe I will finally watch them with Paul as we finish each novel.

Taco’s tastes are really changing, too! He seems to be making the shift to picture books from board books which I AM HERE FOR!! His favorite right now is ‘The Circus Ship’ by Chris Van Dusen which he adorably pronounces ‘the shircus ship’. He is also loving the Bruce books by Ryan T. Higgins which are also a delight! He was slower to warm up to books so it makes me so happy to see his love of reading grow! 

This is my go to book for first birthdays or baby showers when you are asked to give a book instead of a card. I give picture books early because new parents tend to get a ton of board books but I want to contribute to their future library! I love reading picture books we received for the baby shower because there is often a note to "Baby Segner" (we didn't find out Paul's gender).

Did you read anything great in April?

Weekend Highlights

It was a soggy, windy weekend but we made the most of it. Here were our highlights. 

- Saturday was the last day of Target’s car seat drop off program (you drop off an old car seat - they recycle it and give you 20% off a new one. We dropped off an infant car seat and bought a harness to booster car seat for Taco. Win win.) The boys were VERY wild at the store so our visit was very brief.

- We decided to check out a new-to-us library that is across the street from Target. Our library is always super busy - this one was SO QUIET! The boys enjoyed playing with new-to-them toys. 

Taco found a Pokémon book for Paul

- Taco napped and I read/dozed a bit during his nap. Phil took Paul to his golf lessons. Is he not the cutest little golfer? Phil is an excellent golfer and has wonderful memories of golfing with his late father so I am hoping my boys take to golf so they can make those memories with their dad. I’d like to learn to golf alongside the boys but we will see if that happens. I’ve found it to be a hard sport to learn.

- After the golf lesson, Phil took both boys to the park and I worked on meal prep. What does meal prep look like this week in our house? I blitzed carrots, onion, garlic, and celery for the hidden veggie marinara I will make on Tuesday, I chopped the cauliflower and chicken (and stored separately if that isn’t obvious!) for the tikka masala recipe I made last night, I husked corn and prepped the asparagus for our Saturday night meal, and I cut up peppers for snacking. I did this while listening to a fascinating Ezra Klein show about the competing interests of work and parenting. The only way to improve that meal prep hour was if I had some wine. But alas, I didn’t because I have returned to a policy of only drinking outside the home or when hosting guests now that the wine from our last gathering is gone.

- I woke up on my own at 5:45 on Sunday and felt rested so I got up and enjoyed my breakfast (oatmeal + banana) and my coffee in a silent home. This NEVER happens so I soaked it up and worked on spelling bee, wordle, and read blogs. The boys didn’t get up until 6:45! 

- I ran 4 miles both mornings - in tights. Ugh. Spring in Minnesota sucks. 

- Paul had a pretty impromptu playdate with a friend from  school and his brother at an indoor playground that he got passes to for his birthday. It was pouring rain so the perfect afternoon activity but of course sooo busy!

Now this week I go to Napa, but don’t be jealous… I will be gone 36 hours and will spend 8 hours on a plane and 4 hours in a car. I will be in Napa itself for less than 24 hours. I get in Wednesday afternoon, moderate a panel (praying to the travel Gods that nothing goes wrong with my flight), mingle with clients, sleep, hopefully workout, mingle some more at breakfast and then drive back to SFO and fly home. It’s Phil’s busiest week of the month at work so I am trying to minimize my time away, otherwise I would have spent 2 nights in Napa and attended more of this event. But so it goes. Then I get a week off from travel before going to Dallas for 3 days. And then I might get a break until July because my June PDX trip was rebooked for November. Woot woot!

How was your weekend? 

5 Things Friday

It’s Friday! But we have a rainy weekend ahead of us which is just the worst because the best weekends are those that can be spent outside. But hopefully we get some breaks from the rain so we can be outside. Here are 5 things going on in my life.

1. I challenge you to find a picture that better represents spring in Minnesota/the Midwest. This is Taco at his soccer class at daycare on Wednesday. He’s wearing a winter hat - but backwards - and has his hands pulled up into his sleeves because it was cold that morning (even if we had sent mittens, he likely would have refused to wear them, because toddlers, but also should we need to send mittens on April 24th???). And he has the most downtrodden look on his face. Welcome to spring in Minnesota, buddy. It’s the worst. 

 

2. Speaking of activities, I love that we can send him to a soccer class during his school day. I think it’s something like $75 for 2 months of weekly classes. But having it occur during his school day is THE BEST. He also has a tennis class once/week and music every other week which is included in his tuition. I use ‘tennis’ lightly because we haven’t seen any tennis balls in the pics the daycare posts nor do we see rackets but is there anything more terrifying than a toddler with poor impulse control with a racket in his hands? Paul still has swimming which goes until early June, on Saturday he starts a 4-week golf class and in mid-May he starts twice-weekly T-Ball. Phil will take him to the majority of the golf and T-Ball activities because, well, I am not the athletic parent. But I take him to all of his swimming lessons and always have and I will be the primary parent for all things music once he starts piano lessons/band. We are taking the ‘total control’ approach to activities as Phil signed him up for golf and T-Ball, and I signed Paul up for swimming lessons. Obviously we will help the other parent out as needed but it works well (for us) for one parent to take full ownership of an activity. 

3. I traveled this week but it was an odd Thursday-Friday trip. Most of my trips are Tues-Thur or Mon-Wed. So an off rhythm trip really threw me off. All my meetings were on Thursday but I had one zoom that I had to do before 2 in-person meetings followed by a client dinner event. Luckily there were several Starbucks close to my first in-person meeting but you never know how quiet a Starbucks might be… so in the back of my mind I was stressing about how bad the background noise might be…  I wanted my new hire to do this meeting but it’s a large opportunity so the sales team wanted me to do it. So they traded a more experienced person in a potentially loud environment for a less experienced person in a quiet environment…. It was ultimately fine but they were playing Taylor Swift and I am sure there was so much background noise but so it goes. 

4. Here’s one thing that has gotten some very unexpected laughs this week: telling people that I frequently get loud environment notifications on my Apple Watch because of my loud toddler. I did not expect the kind of laughs I got when I mentioned this at the client dinner event last night. I guess I have come to think this is normal but wow did that story land. I am not the funny person in my marriage by any stretch of the imagination so getting that kind of reaction is extra satisfying. 

5. All that said I am so relieved today is Friday because this week at work absolutely wore me out between busy days and off-cycle travel days. I am hoping for a good nap from Taco tomorrow because I could really use 1-2 hours to just lay in bed and read or nap. My body is tired and this stupid flare in my hand that I have been dealing with for weeks on end will not quit which is probably akin to the engine light coming on in your car, meaning my body is saying - slow the F down/something isn’t right. I have my 1-night Napa trip next week and then blessedly I get a week off from travel and a shouldless day that week. I am living for that day right now but really I need a shouldless week which is not going to happen. 

How was your week?

A Weekend of Remembering

I’m back from my whirlwind trip back to North Dakota to celebrate the life of my grandma Janet. The last time I had been at the church where her funeral was held was her 100th birthday celebration last May.

My grandma and I at her 100th celebration! She aged so incredibly well.

Coming into the weekend, I had kind of buried my grief under all the other things bouncing around in my head in the past week, like work related talking points for meetings or thoughts about how I needed to remember to defrost the tuna steaks on Thursday night so we would have something g to eat on Friday or how I needed to sign Paul up for before/after care for the following school year on Friday morning. You know - all the many plates we are all trying to keep spinning. I drove up to the funeral by myself on Saturday because Paul was not well enough to join me (I left to him yelling for me to not leave so that was fun…) But even on the car ride up my mind was occupied by thinking about the national sales call I present on this morning or analyzing the song lyrics of the songs from Taylor Swift’s new album (which is so good).

The grief hit me when I got to the visitation that preceded the funeral. She lived a wonderfully full life and was so ready to go at the end, but a goodbye is a goodbye - even when it’s expected and prayed for. But her funeral was a beautiful celebration of her life. There was so much to say about my grandma, from her passion for the Vikings to her Wii bowling prowess in the assisted living center Wii bowling league to the fact that she emailed and used Facebook to her skills as a scrabble player (I only beat her once in my life and I think she may have let me win) to her love of the written word (she’s one of the reasons I am such an avid reader) to memories of how my grandparents would memorize poetry on road trips and recite it for family and friends. My grandparents had what I would call a 1st percentile marriage. I spent A LOT of time around them as we lived just down the road so I would often bike down to visit. In all my life, I never saw them exchange a cross word! Can you even imagine? 

The best part was seeing all my siblings and so much extended family. We got a pic of most of the grandkids and significant others that were at the funeral at the gathering afterwards. 

Wearing my usual black on black

We failed to get a picture of all of my siblings but I got one with my sisters! 

I drove back yesterday morning and was home by lunch. I wanted to linger longer at my parents but after being gone 3 nights last week, I was feeling especially bad being away from the boys, especially since both are fighting colds. Paul was feeling much better when I got back so I took him to swimming lessons and then we all went to the park after Taco’s nap. 

Post-lesson macarons

Sunday afternoon at the park

Now it’s back to another busy week at work which includes a very short visit to Cleveland. I’ll barely be there 24 hours but am fitting in 2 client meetings and a client dinner event. I have one more trip after this week and then I get a week off from travel. Thank. God. 

Checking In

When I last left off, I was heading to New Jersey for a work trip. I was supposed to fly back late Thursday night (6:45EST flight out of Newark) but the sales person I was traveling with told me I absolutely needed to change my flight and fly back mid-day on Thursday since I have things going on back home with my grandma’s passing. I felt some guilt because that meant I missed a lunch on Thursday that I was supposed to help with/speak at, but in the grand scheme of things, getting back at a decent time yesterday (mid-afternoon) was more important than meeting with another batch of financial advisors. 

My trip was overall good/fine. I felt so discombobulated since I was on vacation last week and then jumped right back into travel while working through feeling of grief over my grandma’s passing. Note to self: do not travel the week after being on vacation. I had a very tenuous grasp on what meetings we were doing while I was in NJ. I'm kind of along for the ride on these trips as the sales people are planning everything but I usually have a better idea of who we are meeting with/what the cadence of meetings will be, etc. I came into the trip really exhausted because I saw the text about my grandma passing away at 12:30 am on Sunday night and then laid awake for over 2 hours, so that did not help matters.

But the meetings went well and people were generally really engaged and asked a lot of great questions, which is what I prefer. Plus a couple of the events were "women in finance" events and it's kind of nice to be in a room with women only since that's a rarity in the finance industry. The low of the week was when I had a call with an advisor who wanted to sell one of our funds and he told me and the other female sales person: "equities are like men - they are straight forward and easy to understand. Bonds are like women - they are so confusing and have 17 different emotions and just don't make sense." It was a good thing we were on the phone and not on zoom - otherwise he may have seen smoke coming out of my ears. 

When I got back on Thursday, both boys were coming down with colds - so much for the healthy stretch we had enjoyed. My grandma's funeral is tomorrow afternoon so Paul and I will drive up tomorrow morning if he’s feeling well enough. We decided to have Taco stay behind with Phil, even before he started to come down with a cold. He gets tired so easily and getting off his schedule is tough. And I know I won't be able to be "present" at the funeral if he's there because, well, toddlers... A couple of my older nieces are wonderful with Paul and Paul is just so easy to have around. He's so excited to see his cousins, too, so hopefully his cold symptoms improve. All of us siblings will be together for the first time since January 2020 so there is a silver lining to celebrating the passing of a loved one. 

Today I have about 6 hours of meetings so it will be far from a ‘light’ Friday. But in a couple of weeks, I have a lovely shouldless day to look forward to, and it’s coming on the tails of 3 weeks straight of work travel so is so very necessary! Hat tip to myself for scheduling that. I am trying to schedule them quarterly. 

How was your week?

Weekend at home + heavy heart

Our re-entry has been great. When we pulled up to our house on Thursday night, Paul spoke for us all when he said: ‘home, sweet, home’. Traveling is wonderful but it’s a good feeling when you return and feel happy to be back. Here were some happenings from the weekend.  

- On Friday I got a steroid injections from a PA at my rheumatology clinic. I have been on 20mg of prednisone for well over a week and my flare wasn’t improving. Injections aren’t pleasant but they do the trick. It was difficult to eat or cut things up for the boys so an injection was necessary. I changed my weekly injectable meds a couple of months ago. Fingers crossed this new cocktail of drugs does the trick. But now I have a new flare in a different joint of the same finger - hopefully the oral steroids I will stay on for the next week or so will help with it… otherwise I will be back for another steroid injection.

- I went for a beautiful 4 mile run on Saturday. Spring is springing so I made sure to pay attention to the budding trees and things that are starting to bloom. I also did a CG workout on Sunday. I am almost done with her iron series which I have really enjoyed.

- Taco has been using the potty sporadically recently so we decided to focus on potty training again and he did AMAZING! He’s been pooping in the potty for the last couple of months (sorry if that’s TMI) and was finally figuring out the peeing aspect. I am so glad that we are done with pull ups during the day!! He only had one accident the whole weekend - it happened on Saturday while we were outside for a long stretch. It would have been ideal to stay close to home while training but it was too beautiful outside to stay in! 

- Phil helped a friend put their docks in and took Paul with so I was on my own with Taco on Saturday. The weather was gorgeous so we spent a ton of time outside. Who would have thought the warmest weather (mid-80s!!) of the week would be in Minnnesota! We played outside, said hi to the geese and went to the creek and park. 

The geese! No toys out yet which Taco was bummed about.

He was really representing Minnesota sports teams that day! 

- the boys and I walked/scooted up to Starbucks on Sunday am for a latte for me and cake pops for them. The weather was gorgeous again. 

- we visited another park after swimming lessons/nap time. The park was PACKED and people were not monitoring their kids so it was kind of chaotic. Real talk: it ended on a sour notes with me carrying Taco out after he threw wood chips at me… That’s toddler life for you. Impulse control is non-existent. 

Taco oddly loves to push a merry-go-round full of kids!

- Throughout the weekend I received regular updates on my grandma. She was alert and had a lot of visitors in the early part of the weekend but became unresponsive late Saturday night. She peacefully passed away last night. I take comfort in my belief that she is free from pain and reunited with the loved ones in the great beyond. 

Now today I fly to New Jersey for work and return late Thursday night although I imagine I will be flying back earlier than planned depending on the timing of her funeral. 

So I enter this week with a heavy heart because goodbyes are hard even when they are expected and you are prepared. But I am also so grateful that my grandma got to witness so much of my life - she met my husband and children and we had such a close relationship up to her death with no words unsaid. And what a gift that is. 

5 on Friday: vacation edition

We got back from Florida late last night. Here is a 5 things Friday style recap of our trip, written from the airport while we waited for our flight back last night!

1. The weather was unfortunately a bust. We knew it was a little risky to come to the panhandle area in early April but hoped it would be fine. It was cloudy, extremely windy, and on Wednesday there were tornado warnings. But we made the most of it. Of course the weather will be gorgeous after we leave, go figure!

Another ‘challenge’ of the trip was that Taco slept in a big boy bed for the first time and wow, we are NOT in a rush to move him out of his crib. We moved Paul into a big boy bed after he dropped his nap and we will do the same with Taco. It could have been worse but he was up during the night most nights and was up early a couple of days.

2. We stayed in a 3 bed/3 bath condo in Fort Walton Beach that had a pool so we alternated between the beach and the pool. The pool area was protected from the wind most days so that was nice. But the beach was the main draw for us Minnesotans so we spent a lot of time there. The beaches were pristine with sugar sand. We would love to see this coastline when there aren’t 15-30+ mph winds!!

The first morning was calm! We enjoyed breakfast on our balcony.

I went for a walk each morning. 

I love this pic of the boys walking on the path to the beach. After the first morning we learned that they need to wear swimsuits when on the beach. They both got soaked the first morning!

Checking out a pretty blue jellyfish

3. The weather was the worst on Wednesday so we went to a local science center that totally exceeded our expectations (Emerald Coast Science Center). They had so much hands on stuff to do so everyone from age 3 to 76 had a great time! Other outings included checking out a walking trail to a little bay where we saw a great blue heron and lots of turtles and walking the pier where we really got up close and personal with a heron. 

The boys enjoyed playing at the robotics stations

Paul was very excited to get close to this heron

Another heron in its natural habitat

4. We ate breakfasts and lunches in our condo and ate out most nights, except our first and last night when we got take out for dinner. The adults enjoyed lots of fish and shrimp.

5. It was a good getaway but we are definitely not in the prime stage for travel yet. The wheels really fell off on Thursday when Taco was up during the night and then woke for the day at 5:30 am. And then our 6:45 flight (which was pushed back twice in the last couple of months) got delayed until 8:30pm. Taco was in full meltdown mode and needed a rescue nap in the car, woke up and fell back asleep on me in the car while Paul played at a park.

Phil and I talked about how each year will get easier as Taco gets older. Paul was a total delight on this trip at age 6 and has been a great traveler since age 4. So a year from now, things should feel easier. But even though this isn’t an easy stage for travel, I still feel it’s worth it to go places and do things. The change of scenery is good for everyone and we enjoyed the time with my parents. 

Totally amazed by all the buttons! The pilots were so friendly.

. . . . 

Unfortunately while we were away my grandmother fell and fractured several bones including her sacrum. This fall resulted in her taking a turn for the worse and she will be entering hospice care today. It was a hard time for my parents to be away. They were on the phone quite often checking in on her, talking to doctors and nurses, and making decisions with family about next steps. Given her level of pain, we are hoping that the end comes soon for her. She has a very strong sense of faith and has been ready to meet her maker and to be reunited with my grandpa, her daughter, and other loved ones she has lost for years now. She has had a full, wonderful life and would have celebrated her 101st birthday next month.

I am extremely close with my grandma as her and my grandpa lived just down the road when I was growing up. I saw her in February when she was having a good day. Every time I saw her in the last several years, I knew it could be the last so I made sure to leave no words unsaid. She knows how much I adore her and how much I treasure all the memories I made with her and my grandpa. So I feel at peace with her passing and hope she doesn’t linger for long. 

That’s a heavy way to end a vacation post so I will close with two more pictures of the beautiful beach!